After more than two years of chronic stress due to the pandemic, you may be looking for ways to recognize and support team members who are emotionally overwhelmed, burned out or having a difficult time. To help guide you, our Sutter Employee Assistance Program (EAP) team has put together the following tips and resources:

During a crisis, we tend to go into survival mode and respond in one of four ways, described as—Fight, Flight, Freeze and Friend. Below are examples of the types of behaviors associated with each response and what you can say to help.

Fight Response: anger, arguing and resistance. Stress can often trigger anger. Although understandable, this behavior can upset other team members.

What you can say:

“You seem frustrated. This is understandable. Let’s problem-solve together.”  

Flight Response: calling in sick and avoiding specific duties. You might mistake this behavior as laziness or unwillingness to work. However, this could be a stress response and you may want to find out more.

What you can say:

“I have noticed that you have been out quite often. Do you feel comfortable talking about what is going on? How can I help?”

Freeze Response: numb, apathetic, and withdrawn. For example, a team member may never have their camera on during virtual meetings, is slow to respond or generally seems “checked out.” This can be frustrating and could be interpreted as not caring. This team member may care very much but just lack the energy to overcome the effects of stress or trauma.

What you can say:

“I’ve noticed you’ve been very quiet lately. How can I support you?”

Friend Response: overachieving and perfectionism. Team members who typically exhibit this trauma response are your superstars. However, during times of crisis, these high achievers cope by taking control and trying to do everything perfectly. Not only is this unsustainable, it is also why these employees may suddenly quit or go on a Leave of Absence. Everyone reaches a limit, even superstars.

The first step is to make sure these employees don’t carry the weight of the team. They are often unfamiliar with setting work boundaries and will agree to additional work even if they feel overwhelmed. As leaders, you can help by setting boundaries.

What you can say:

“I appreciate all your hard work. It is also important that you have time to rest and recharge. Let’s review your current tasks and the number of hours you are working to help balance your work and your well-being.”

Remember, you are not expected to be a therapist. You can support your team by being calm and reassuring and guiding team members to available resources.

If you’d like to improve your ability to lead your team or need support, Sutter EAP has professional licensed and experienced therapists available to assist you. Call EAP at (800) 477-2258 or complete a Service Request Form online.

Resources:

Sutter EAP

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-8255 or text 838255

National Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor