What’s Causing the Stress?

Start by identifying the stressors in your life. Once you find the root (or roots) of the problem, you can adapt and make changes.

When trying to identify what’s causing stress, it’s helpful to keep a journal. Every time you start to feel stressed, write it down in the journal. Note the time, date, location and activity you were doing. Also try answering these questions:

• How did the stress start? What do you think caused you to feel stressed?
• How did you feel physically when the stress started? Hungry? Sleep-deprived?
• How did you respond to the stress?
• What did you do to relieve the stress?

If you consistently respond to these questions, you may start to see patterns. This will help you determine what causes you to feel stressed.

What Can You Do About It?

Knowing what causes stress will help you figure out how best to respond to it. Typically, you can either change the stressful situation or change your reaction to it.

To change the situation, you can:

• Avoid the stressor. You can do this by saying “no” to turn down stressful situations and by minimizing interactions with stressful people.
• Alter the stressor. If you know that the stress you’re experiencing comes from something important (like schoolwork) or won’t go away (like money management or relationship issues), make some changes to minimize the stress involved. Try to plan out your schedule, manage your time better and tackle projects in small portions at a time. If relationships with friends or family are stressful, try to talk about the situation with others, voice your feelings more often and be willing to compromise.

To change your reaction to the stress:

• Adapt to the stressor. If stress results from something that you truly can’t change – a traffic jam, for example – consider changing your outlook. Stay positive, focus on the big picture and looking at the problem in a different light.
• Accept the stressor. Life circumstances may cause stress, and a good way to cope is acceptance. Life stressors might include a learning disability, a natural disaster or the death of a loved one. Talk to friends or mentors for advice, learn to forgive and use the situation or experience to grow as a person.

Learn Healthy Coping Methods

Being stressed takes a toll on your health. If you tend to cope with stress in an unhealthy way, such as stress-eating, sleeping a lot, becoming a hermit, smoking, drinking excessively or taking it out on others, work on choosing healthier alternatives.

Here are some healthy ways to deal with stress:

• Eat a healthy diet. Make sure to get enough fresh fruits and vegetables.
• Get enough sleep – at least eight hours a night.
• Socialize, talk to your friends, participate in activities.
• Avoid excessive sugar and caffeine, which can make you crash and experience mood swings.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation. Use breathing techniques to relax. Try yoga poses to reduce tension.
• Keep a journal. Thinking about an experience can help you organize your thoughts and see things in a new light. To build a journaling habit, spend just 15 minutes a day writing. You can write about anything you want: positive or stressful interactions or experiences, how you responded and why, highlights and lowlights of your day.

While stress may seem all-consuming, you will get through it. Try to figure out which coping mechanisms you tend to use when you’re stressed. If you realize that you have a pattern of using unhealthy methods, try out some of the healthy ways of coping with stress one at a time to see what works best for you.

Reviewed by: Cynthia Gelke, MFT

Last reviewed: October 2019