Throughout the teenage years, your child will interact with a wide variety of people, settings and emotions. In some situations, personal conflict may result in violence or injury.

As a parent, guardian or authority figure, it’s important to help your teen learn to deal with emotions without using violence. Preventive methods include learning nonviolent methods to control anger and developing more efficient problem-solving skills.

Demonstrate to your teen through your own words and actions that violence is never an acceptable form of behavior. This is essential to your teen’s growth into a responsible, level-headed young adult.

Quick Facts

• Almost 16 million teens have witnessed some form of violent assault.
• About 1 in 8 people murdered in the United States each year are younger than 18.
• Research shows a link between watching violent television programs and aggressive behavior in teens.
• Most injuries and violent deaths occur between people who know each other.
• Violence within the family increases the risk of teens becoming involved in future violence.
• A gun in the home is more likely to be used to kill a family member or friend than to kill an intruder.

Tips for Parents

• Start talking about ways to reduce or eliminate violence. Team up with other parents and neighbors and get involved in your community’s efforts to reduce violence.
• Talk to your teen about ways to solve arguments and fights without weapons or violence. Advise your teen to talk to you or a trusted adult to avoid potentially violent situations.
• Monitor media use. Limit your teen’s screen time, including TV, music videos and video games, to one to two hours a day. Don’t allow your teen to watch excessively violent movies or shows. If something violent comes on the TV or computer, talk about what’s wrong with the program and how the situation could have been handled in a nonviolent way.
• Be a role model by dealing with problems nonviolently. Never hit your teen. Count to 10. Cool off. If you can’t control your anger, tell your teen you need some time to get your thoughts and feelings under control.
• Problem-solve with your teen. Think together about options and consequences for behaviors. Set limits, make sure your teen knows the rules and consequences, and follow through.
• Carrying a handgun sends the message that guns solve problems. If you have a gun, store it unloaded and locked up. Lock and store bullets separately. Tell your teen to stay away from guns in homes of friends or places where they may visit or play.
• Help your teen deal with anger. Anger is a normal feeling and isn’t bad when expressed appropriately. Teach your teen that it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to throw a punch. If needed, encourage counseling to help your teen deal with anger appropriately.

10 Steps Teens Can Use to Avoid Violence and Injury

1. Recognize situations or events that are likely to escalate into violence.
2. Stop whatever you’re doing and count to 10 backward. This will help you think about your feelings before they get out of control.
3. If you can’t control your anger, get away. Take a time out.
4. Think about the options and consequences of your actions. For example, hitting someone could result in injury or a suspension from school.
5. If necessary, get help from a third party to solve differences.
6. Cool off. Make sure you are calm and then talk to the person.
7. Listen carefully to the other person’s opinion.
8. Be assertive, not aggressive. Stand up for your ideals. Begin every sentence with “I.” For example: “I feel this way...” or “I don’t like it when...”
9. Be willing to admit and be responsible for something you may have done wrong.
10. Respond with your head—not with your fists, threats or weapons.

Reviewed by: Melissa Ruby, MPH

Last reviewed: October 2019